PictureShoeless Joe? You there?
In an effort to be bright and inventive, I’m trying something a little new tonight. Don’t be frightened. This won’t hurt a bit. *grins*

As I’ve explained in previous posts, I sometimes, like most writers, have to escape through a “window” just for a little breather from the work. When I crawl out my window, I usually stumble right into a horror movie. I’ve probably watched thousands over the years (mostly during my teen years), so I feel confident in proclaiming myself somewhat knowledgeable on the subject of either old or low budget horror flicks.  

I usually feel so guilty for taking these couple of hours, I often end up working myself too hard. Bad, bad for the cracked brain. So, I thought I’d start sharing my little reviews of these cinematic gems with all of you. I will give away no major spoilers, and I will try to write this from a storyteller’s point of view. If I get good feedback, I’ll continue with this little side venture from time to time. So let me know what you think, please!  

The “Chloe Blurb” will be my, often sarcastic, attempt to write a sell copy for the film (you know, the blurb on the back of the book all authors are forced to write?) So, any and all mistakes are my own. Aim all rotten fruit right here, babe.  

So here we go!  

The Particulars: “The Maze” is a little horror movie filmed in Utah in 2010 with a budget of $200k.  

The Chloe Blurb: When five college kids sneak into a closed corn maze one night, one by one they become the victims of a mysterious killer who stalks the corn field. The terror continues as the one survivor comes face to face with the murderer in the most unexpected and indefensible of places.  

Actors: I’ve never heard of any of them before. Recognized one of the young cops from somewhere but that was it. Everybody did a fine job with the material they were given. Lesser actors would have made the characters too cheesy to be digested.  

The Storyline Review: I had no major problem with the plot. It was contrived but very few horror movies aren’t. I give the writers props for actually going for a resolution at the end. Much appreciated, thank you. The complete and total lack of the killer’s motivation and his methods bothered me a lot. Come on, guys! At least give me a clue as to why our murderer was hanging out in the corn. Maniac or not, that is really weird.  

Plot Holes: One huge hole drove me crazy (crazier, alright) through the entire first half of the film. These kids are running for their lives through a corn maze. The killer is at their heels. It being a maze, they of course run into dead ends. So what do they do? They curse and turn around and run back the way they’d just came (you know, the way with the killer at their heels). My problem is this… Why the hell didn’t they run THROUGH the corn? These were not walls they were dealing with. This was corn. Brown, crackly, dead corn stalks that while eerie sure the heck aren’t impassible. Hadn’t at least one of these kids seen “Field of Dreams?” Corn can be conducive to travel, just ask Ray Liotta.  

And there ends this blog experiment. I hope you enjoyed, maybe found a smile you had lost somewhere during the day.  

Until tomorrow, when this blog will return to regular programming…  

Chloe


 


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